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  • Writer's pictureKajsa Silow

Life-changing birthdays

I remember when I spontaneously bought myself my first bday gift, a really memorable one, probably the most life changing one - a trip to Svalbard, alone, super excited, with no plans and no place to live. My sister surprised me with joining, we managed to find the perfect ”couch” at a guide’s house and headed out into the amazing glacier caves and white desert mountains with him. When I came back home I instantly left my destructive 9-5 routine to focus on the other squeezed adventurer part of my life that had taken up all my free time, got a phone call the next day and was asked to do some expedition guiding, and so I’d landed in a great opportunity to work with my passion and move back up to the mountains. And here I am living my dream.

But birthdays has also been my up and down day. One year I bought a van. Another year I went splitboarding on pow for the first time. Another I experienced a one year long terrible burnout. I’ve also been fully bedbound, been snowboarding with my dad with a strained foot, been sitting in a five hour traffic jam detour back home from work, five of them I’ve been studying for exams, and quite many of my birthdays I also realized how lonely I once was.

Today I feel awesome. Me and my bday-colleague baked a vegan cake for our team, and my gift to myself has been doing fun work at work, seeing friends, been sung to and doing functional fitness training and yoga. On this day I very often think of the lonely ones and I rather give back to the world than receive presents, but I’m overwhelmed by all the love and thankful that I don’t have to feel so alone anymore. I used to not appreciate this day one inch, but today I only feel joy. Thanks life for all the ups and downs, for that which makes us humble and grounded, for that which makes us appreciate our changes to the better so much. I love you all who fulfill my life in some way, who exist even though it’s on a distance, or who call me every now and then or on my birthday - with you in my life I could sit on an ice sheet up on the top of the earth all alone for days, months, years, but without ever feeling lonely. Thank you 💕

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