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  • Writer's pictureKajsa Silow

The serious kind of play

Updated: Jan 20, 2019

Them: "You're living the dream!" Me: 😂

If they only knew...

"The Dream"

Sometimes I bring my computer in the lift. Most days I work 6-9, take a few morning turns, then I pick up my computer and take a seat at the café on top of the lift to get some more work done with a view, with a great coffee in one hand and to wave hello to my skiing and snowboarding friends with the other who head inside to take a short break. In this way I get the best of both worlds, every damn day! The dream? YES, it truly is my dream!

To me it's so much more than the practical things. My health and happiness for instance. Thanks to the fact that I give myself the freedom to choose when I want to work, to follow my flow, my focus, and to give space to be a human who needs her interests in her daily life and sometime just want to get some beautiful views and environments, I make my work so free from distractions. Cus I never need to "no" anything. I don't need to sit inside all year round and long for vacay or Friyay since I always have the possibility to do what I want to do on my "vacay" and that which makes me feel damn good every day, to hang with my people and friends, to see beautiful views and nature, and that I can be outside during daylight. And just as simply I can take a seat by my computer and work when I have flow, and since I work with another great passion of mine it's never hard. my freedom nurtures and keeps my discipline and engagement.

"The other side" (nothing comes for free)

To sit with my office on a snow covered mountain before and after getting fresh air, workout, nature, rides, views, halos, pastel skies, sunrises and sunsets, and to have a coffee break with friends who come in to take a break from the slopes, is possibly one of my best ways to work with something I enjoy doing. I've experienced the opposite, having a choice for one or the other, when you have better or worse creative periods, getting stuck and not getting loose, fighting against tired and uninspiring days and hours just because it's said that you should sit there 8 hrs every day, and at the same time longing for those passions you work hard for to afford experiencing on your vacay every year. When the confusion catches you, "what should I do with my life?". When those thoughts start to take control, when life starts to lose meaningfulness, cus you don't have time to do other things than working. And then, if you have a bad day/week/month at work, it's like you're having a bad day/week/month in your life since that's the only thing that take up space in your life. You try to solve it with your own thoughts, to get around the problem and feel that you still are doing a great job and can deliver in time. Or when you have days when you have heaps of energy, inspiration and creativity but when you're done with your tasks and there's nothing left to do at the office you still need to stay cus your contract says so, and to fill up the time you get to do those admin jobs and tasks that no one wants to do because you're quick and have time, so you start questioning if this really was what you studied for 5 years and invested your time with loans to pay back. But you still love your job and want to work with that, just not like THAT. When you don't get to use your drive and lose self-confidence, start to think to much, try to solve unsolvable obstacles, when the wall doesn't only sneak in but kill all you ever fought for and want with your life.

So when play gets mixed with serious business in the way that it does today, there is nothing that gives me such peace, inspiration, excitement, focus, self-confidence, happiness, vitality and meaning which all make room for motivation to grow and engagement to flourish. That's luxurious! Yes, it's a true - as people call it - dream! Yet a dream that require sacrifices, and a dream that not many would stand living when they realize what it means and how you can't prioritize. Like a descent home, relationships, your deserved level of salary, a socio cultural city life, dance classes, and everything else one might want in one's life. But if it feel ok to lose some to win your passion, then it's worth a try. Nothing is complete, no life is content. But you can still choose to feel that way! That's all your own decision and attitude.

And then, when the lifestyle finally works out fully, when you stop paying with your health, meaningfulness and well-being and start to get paid for your passions so that you can live with them fully, then there's not much left than if it's worth the sacrifices or not.

In only one day I'll switch office from snow to water, ice to salt in my hair, 5 layers to bikini, mountain view to pastel horizons, board to board. From one meaningful daily life to another. Tomorrow we're going to Sri Lanka!

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